Description

Transforming what we hear – for example, hearing what people need instead of what they think of us (which can sound critical!) – transforms our reality. Transforming what we say – for example saying what we need instead of what is wrong with someone else – transforms our connections.

Anything that anyone says is ultimately to meet a need, whether they are aware of it or not. When we are aware, we don’t need to hear criticism again. We can

• Explain ourselves clearly.
• Understand others’ underlying motives.
• Ask for what we want in a connecting way.

There is no conflict at the level of needs, only at the level of strategies. Once we are clear about everyone’s needs, the strategies tend to become clearer. Significantly, we create a quality of connection where natural giving occurs … willing collaboration!

Our training offers a way of communicating whereby people can 

• Hear what others need (instead of getting stuck on how the others say it).
• Say what they need (instead of what is wrong with someone).
• Transform self-critical language (our inner critics aim to protect us and to help us to grow. What do these want?).
• Make sense of others’ actions (this can radically shift their whole experience and their stories about the others).
• Offer feedback without criticizing or labelling someone (be soft on the person, hard on the problem).
• Agree on next steps without compromising (we shift if and because we want to). 
• Reconnect after disagreements and hurt through honest conversations about our worries, hopes and dreams.

We change naturally and lastingly when we see a way forward that is less painful and more joyful, and change from this energy builds our resilience, trust in ourselves, and mutual trust.  This is a far more powerful and life-serving form of change than anything that comes out of a sense of shame, guilt, or fear; indeed, rather than obligation and coercion, we need clarity about what matters to us and to others to create change that everyone is happy about and can stand behind.

If this sounds exciting to you, you can arrange a custom training for your group of friends, family, or team members. Certified Trainer Elke will build a training based on your group’s area of focus (e.g. parenting, intimate relationships, team work, personal growth) and your most pressing communication needs.   Click on Book Now at the top of the page to set up a free 20 minute discovery session to get started.